To be human is to experience what we refer to as a ‘mind’ — an eccentric region of consciousness that insists on its own sovereignty.
But sovereign from what? Is there some other entity with which the mind would compete for consciousness, requiring that it be separately named, recognized, and respected? Are there two things that need an identity, could self-establish one, or care so much about it? Is it perhaps a person from whom the mind would demand its autonomy?
We’re no doubt some blend, but we seem nonetheless stuck with using a sovereign mind on behalf of a co-existent person, somehow leaving both dissatisfied with their neighbor.
In my case there’s this mind-threatening idea that the person is the more authentic entity — that I’m more realistically a person experiencing a mind than a mind experiencing a person — and that I’d know myself better, my identity more firmly established, and that my life would improve, my connection to the world more sound, if I’d be more routinely in person mode.
(Thinking about how it’s not my mind doing the thinking is cognitively bewildering. But the idea makes sense viscerally. It’s hard to make the case that I exist strictly as a mind while being so thoroughly immersed within and intimately aware of a person’s feelings and experiences. It seems simpler and more objectively honest to say that a person feels a mind rather than a mind could feel a person. Also as I practice what’s been confusingly termed ‘mindfulness’, what is it, not so concerned with independence, that’s trying to observe my mind’s compulsions and shenanigans? An interested person for sure.)
Okay, so accepting that there’s a person involved here and I’m not just a mind having this experience, and that my person and mind are more companions than neighbors, there’s still this important question:
What sort of person do I want watching over me when I’m in mind mode? What qualities should this person have if I’m to trust them to care for such an influential, willful, vital yet delicate, maybe not so autonomous, but indeed precious occupant of my consciousness?
First, this person should be calm. They must remain unperturbed in all circumstances. When events get intense or are moving too fast for my mind to keep up, or when it becomes too reactive, petulant, or panicky, it would be very reassuring to know that I’ve someone tranquil and composed to aid my lucidity and moderate my mental volatility.
My person must be kind. In mind mode I’m vulnerable to the surge of powerful emotions, especially negative ones like fear and anger that so easily sweep me into destructive mental narratives about myself and the world. How cruel it would be for my person to deny me the compassion and affection that would foster a more positive self-view, and save us both from a more permanent despondency or antipathy to life.
Also important is that my person be forgiving when I make the cognitive mistakes; the misunderstanding, shortsightedness, or inflexible convictions that lead to conflict, comeuppance, and regret. My person’s forgiveness would spare me much pointless berating of myself for not already knowing what I’ve needed to learn.
Overall the minder of my mind would be appreciative. It isn’t easy being a mind trapped in a person’s experience while simultaneously alienated from it. I’m trying so hard to understand it all. So often it seems my efforts are for nothing and some gratitude would make all the difference in the world.
Last in this list, but certainly not least, my person must be truth seeking. Perhaps this is the most important quality. How can I function as a mind, what purpose could I serve if I’ve no access to what’s true and real? There’d be no rationale, pointedly no cause for our continuing existence as partners in consciousness if my person has no interest in the actuality that allows human life. For a sane mind, truth is all that matters.
Now there’s some irrefutable logic: It’s in my best interests as a mind that my caretaker be calm, kind, forgiving, appreciative, and truth seeking — a good person. How beautifully reciprocal then that as a person I would enjoy the company and counsel of a well cared for mind.